I’ve put off talking about this for a couple of months..
But now—I’m ready to talk about the pain I’ve been living through.
Point2Ponder “When is the last time you were shocked by the abrupt end of a lifelong friendship?”
I’ve always heard that line up top—For Reasons/For Seasons!
And I have had to accept that in the past…
Sometimes, a “friendship” is work related, or socially stimulated and supported.
Once the “connections” are broken—most of those “friendships” fizzle and disappear.
There will be occasional texts back and forth—something funny that you ran across that reminded you of the time shared.
Private jokes that only that friendship understood or found funny.
But you see that coming—you understand that what made you friends is no longer there, so…your friendship dissipates.
I’m not talking about those moments…
I mean the time when someone you loved as family abruptly cuts you out of their life.
And you’re just not sure why?
You try to heal the hurt with asking questions and imploring your friend to not let your friendship be affected.
And that doesn’t help—silence is the worst treatment for this kind of pain.
But it seems to be the #1 go to—“freeze them out with the silent treatment” must be on some list somewhere.
At some point, I have to accept—what I thought was a lifelong commitment to friendship on my part…
Was not on their part.
And that’s the part that surprises me the most.
And honestly—hurts the worst.
I miss my friend.
I love my friend.
But…I have to accept their decision to sever the friendship.
For my own healing—accept the things you cannot change.
And slowly—I have to let go of that assumption that we would be friends for life.
I’m very grateful for the friendship that we had—I will always treasure those lifelong memories.
I won’t let this abrupt end taint the times that were priceless for me.
I do value and hold dear the experiences that we shared and the quality time spent together.
But… I have to accept and let go.
And no—I won’t hold onto the hope that “in time” this friendship will be healed and all will be well with the world.
Trust, once broken, is something time can’t always heal.
That’s the part that you never get back when a sudden, abrupt sever of a friendship happens.
That sense of surprise loss of something you held so valuable.
When you trust someone so much that you don’t look over your shoulder because you just know—they’ve got your back.
Until they don’t.
While I was researching for this column…
I found the following…
And it helped me understand…
It’s not the end of my story…
Just the end of their part in my story.
And yet—I wish them well and only want the best things for them.
Because they will always be—a friend I was glad I had.
If you are out there reading—thank you for being a friend—you made a difference in my life.
I will not let the last 5 minutes of our time together taint the memorable moments our families shared.
You were a friend I was thankful for.
Godspeed my friend…godspeed!