Reflections of…Fathers-All Shapes and Sizes


Happy Father’s Day to all of the Dads out there!

To my son…you are a gift to your son and daughter.

To my godson… you are an example to your 4 girls .

To my adoptive son…you are a testimony to your son and daughter.

Fathers are not assumed…

In some homes today, there is not a father in place due to desertion.

There are families who do not have a father due to death.

There are families where the Mom had to be Both Father and Mother.

I have always said…a Mother’s love is assumed; but a Father’s love is earned.

Sons learn how to treat a woman by how their father treated their mom.

Daughters learn how to expect to be treated by a suitor by watching how Dad treated Mom.

But…then there are the ones who… choose to be a Dad.

Those who adopted children and loved them and treated them no differently…

Because…they aren’t!

I had a first this week!

My website brought back an old friend into my life.

He was searching for me, and he found my website.

He used the “Contact Alan” section and sent me an email.

And, within minutes—we were corresponding.

We’ve now reconnected on Facebook, text, Email, Instagram.

All because… my website is out there for everyone to see and find me and hear my message.

It has served its purpose well.

Gary is someone I knew back when he and I were just starting out as fathers.

He and his lovely wife Chrissy befriended my family and invited us over several times.

We even celebrated Passover Seder at their home.

Our daughter Ashley even remembers celebrating with them—she was about 5 then.

Gary and Chrissy had lost a baby girl in childbirth.

Chrissy was meant to be a mom; Gary was a natural with kids.

They chose to give their love to three adopted children: a girl, and two sons.

Then God did what God so often does…He blessed them with a baby girl.

So…here was a couple who had all the love in the world to give to a child…

And in the course of a few years…they were raising 2 sons and 2 daughters under one roof.

One family united in love!

That was about 25 years ago…

We lost touch when they moved to Texas.

But, as is so good about Facebook and social media (it CAN be used for good!)…

Here I was looking at the face of my friend…

As fellow Italian men…I chuckled that Gary had my hairline now!

Why do you think I always wear hats?

But the smile was the same; the eyes full of life were the same…

It was like life had stood still…but, it hadn’t.

Gary let me know that his beautiful bride of 38 years and wonderful mom to their 4 children…

Is in the last stages of cancer…Doctors have given up hope…

Gary is by her side…waiting for the angels to carry his beloved Chrissy home to heaven.

And I cried…because this family of 6 was about to be 5…losing the center of their life.

But then…I investigated…on Facebook…and I could see that… for the children…

Christ is the center of this home- and they are relying on Christ to heal the hurt.

They are all mourning the impending loss of their dear beloved mother and wife…

But this is a home, and these are children, who were raised with Christ at the Center.

And I rejoiced to see this wonderful life, well lived and worthy of her promotion!

And I remembered how we are all adopted children—adopted into God’s family.

Romans 8:15-16 says “…but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God!”

We ourselves were adopted—yet, just like Gary with his children—we are treated all the same!

And that’s the beauty about a Father…

When you are His…you are Always His!

You are not a foster child—not knowing how long you will stay and not having any rights.

You are an adopted child – with every right and privilege of a blood born—because you are His!

And I know that all 4 of Gary’s children surround their parents with love, respect and honor…

For this wonderful life they have been privileged to share with each other!

Happy Father’s Day Gary…we pray for peaceful passage for your sweet wife Chrissy!